Blind Love

A few years ago I took part in a "blind walk". With a scarf covering my eves, I was led in silence up a narrow rocky gulley. I had no idea who was leading me; not even their gender. The only contact was a hand at my elbow, gently guiding me, showing me where I needed to step up on to rocks, or across the small stream that ran down the gulley.

By the end of the walk I felt a deep and unexpected love for my guide. I knew nothing of him or her as a person. It was the care and attention given me that had brought forth my love.

Normally when we fall in love, we fall in love with a person's appearance, their personality, their likes and dislikes, the way they do things, the sound of their voice, the way they dress, etc. We fall in love with those who fit our notions of the perfect person, with those who support our own beliefs and realities, and with those who might satisfy our needs for security, approval, stimulus, growth and nourishment.

Conversely, when someone fails to fit our expectations, we judge them negatively, and so block our love. In extreme cases, they become "someone I could never love".

But put on a blindfold, and in silence feel their care, their love for you as a fellow human being, and you may find yourself loving them as deeply as a close friend. Such love is truly blind -- blind both to their imperfections and to their perfections.

I received the following e-mail from a visitor to this page:

When I read your section on "blind love" I got chills. I actually believe you felt what I feel everyday of my life now. I am a blind person. This is a relatively a new condition that I am learning to deal with, about 3 years now. But your experience was genuine.

I no longer am able to be influenced by what someone looks like. They could be a drop dead beautiful man or woman, or be homely looking but I am no longer able to experience that. I "see" who the person is. I am beginning to understand how to "feel" someone. To "feel what someone is all about. Touch and the way a person touches me is now very important. And the sound of their voice becomes important as well.

It seems sort of ironic that this should happen to me. I was the person that was so very influence by what someone looked like. I focused on the physical package, often not even allowing someone not meeing my "requirements" a chance. Now I am struggling with the fact that I now must use my heart to get to know someone.

Ken Rogers

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